Today’s card is the Hermit. It makes me think of looking inward. Trying to learn what’s outside of ourselves, but also thinking about who we’ve been, who we are, and who we want to become.  A tall order.

img_4785.pngShe’d been there nearly all her life.  Almost as long as she could remember, it was a place where things frequently puzzled her. Nooks and crannies, dark, deep, sometimes fun, often anxiety provoking, on occasion terrifying. She knew it well, and yet sometimes she felt she had no idea what went on there.

To her, it seemed as though there were thousands of images floating in that space. Some were pleasant, some awkward, some brought smiles, others, left her speechless. Sipping a cup of cold coffee she considered further.  She traveled there each day, it wasn’t as though this was a foreign territory to her and yet, sometimes, it left her shaking her head in amazement and disappointment. Sometimes both of those, at the same time.  If she felt this way, how would others feel?! This place could alarm her and yet, depending on what appeared it could disarm her with joy that resides there as well. Complete happiness. Left on her own, she could get lost in it and while away the day.

Startled by the alarm on her phone she wondered why she felt reluctant to share this place with others.  She liked this secret place. She had fashioned it to be different, yet there were commonalities, there had to be, with others. What if they didn’t understand? It was a place she only trusted to a few because the risk of sharing seemed dangerous. Disapproval haunted her. If she kept this place secret, then no one would be the wiser.

Turning off the alarm she decided to be faithful to a goal she set to try to get out of her own way.  It’s time to write another blog post. She took pride in being a person who honors the commitments she makes. Time to jump, even if it feels like there is no net to catch her. Here we are, readers, welcome to my scattered mind.

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