Love to walk, do not like running. My body rebels and yet I push it to like running. Why? Something else to master? What happens if I don’t? Nothing. Or maybe I will think I’ve not succeeded at something? Oh well, it happens every day. When will I be happy with me? This is not a pity/poor me thing. Rather it is a recognition of my need to drive myself to succeed at things. When will I be content? Where does the restlessness come from? When will being me be enough? All these questions. Answers changing all the time. Working on self-acceptance. Many have written on this and I have nothing particularly new to add. It is a process and like my thoughts, the process varies day to day. In yoga teacher training we were taught various meditations. In studying I’ve read several variations of this one.
May you and I be healthy.
May you and I be safe.
May you and I be happy.
May you and I live with ease.
These are things that I wish and pray for for my family and friends. These are the things that I wish for all people. These are the things that matter. I will work on running. I will wonder why I do this. I will mostly love walking. As my body ages, I will likely be glad that I can still walk. That is OK. I will practice the walking meditation I learned years ago and walk with the Buddhist Bodhisattva of compassion, Kwan Yin.